Christmas catch-up

Happy New Year! We've been consumed with family visitations all week, so this is the first chance I've had to post. And now I cannot figure out how to reorder these photos the way I want...and if we're going to catch the New Year's Eve activities downtown, I have to hit "publish" now. But the photos speak for themselves. Thanks to aunties Jill and Nora for gifting the cutest little Santa suit, and to friends Josh and Stacey for passing on their son's outgrown Bumbo seat so Soren can practice sitting.

My parents Ann and Bill were with us for Christmas Eve and Day, and took us out to dinner so no one had to cook.
And Soren's photo book turned out so well, even the subject himself is fascinated by it!

Jill and Nora departed today after a nice, long visit with us in PT, and we are grateful to them for all the walks on which they carried Soren, as well as for his new crocheted hat (Nora) and new knitted baby-legs (Jill). Back to graduate school for them both!
Wishing you all happiness in the New Year!

Three visitors -- but one's melting

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone!

Port Townsend has not gotten nearly as much snow as the rest of western Washington (and now it's melting), but we had enough for Jeff and Auntie Jill to make an exceedingly tall snowman in our front yard a few days ago. Soren wasn't quite sure what to make of this new visitor. However, he is quite certain he likes having his two aunties around!
Jill and Nora have been visiting for over a week now, and nearly every evening we've played folk music -- "Wildwood Flower," "The Banks of the Ohio," "Soldier's Joy" and such. Soren loves listening to live music -- and sometimes he even joins Dad on his lap, where he is learning to play, er gum, the guitar.
We are all headed to bed after an eventful evening in which Soren made a successful stage debut. That's right, he was BABY JESUS in our Methodist church Christmas Eve service. I (Shelly) was Mary. It was a beautiful experience; look for photos in the next day or two.

Ho, ho, ho -- Soren's first snow

The first snow of the season fell Sunday in Port Townsend, followed by more on Wednesday. Soren was intrigued. The pictures speak for themselves.

This is our friend Ingrid, who spent last weekend with us.
The Santa hat is a gift from aunties Jill and Nora, who arrived Tuesday night to spend the week before Christmas with us. We are super-excited to have them here. There will be more photos of the hat

Book list for new mamas - updated 11/13

I just found out a friend of mine is pregnant and expecting in a few months (congrats, Betsey!), and after I counseled her to do some reading about newborns before she had one (something I didn't really do -- I was too focused on pregnancy and birth, but in retrospect that stage is more innate than parenting!), she asked me what books I'd found most helpful.

I thought about it, and compiled this list of my top picks, adding a brief comment on my experience with the resource next to each book or DVD.

Please comment if you have suggestions or additions for Betsey and all new mamas out there!

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
“Read others' natural birth stories for inspiration.”

Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation
“Creative ways to think about labor and birth.”

The Business of Being Born (DVD)
“Inspired me to have a home water birth, but worth watching for other reasons. Produced by talk-show host Ricki Lake and tells her home water birth story!”

The Nursing Mother's Companion: Revised Edition
”Read before beginning to breastfeed, and refer to after. If you thought giving birth was hard, establishing nursing can be harder. But it's worth being persistent. Mama's milk really is best. Soren's nearly three and we're still nursing a few times a day!”

The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Revised and Updated Edition), by the Sears
“Big, fat reference book. Not EVERYTHING you need to know, but most of it!”

The Happiest Baby on the Block - The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Baby Sleep Longer (DVD)
“Super-helpful soothing techniques. Watch before birth and right after.”

The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night
“Read BEFORE your baby is born, and keep in mind in the early days of sleep.”

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
&
Good Night, Sleep Tight (The Sleep Lady's Guide)
"Read when your baby is 4-6 months old, if the techniques of the above book aren't working for you -- we didn't follow these books' advice until Soren was 10 months old, but then got rapid results. He went from sleeping 2-4 hour stretches (exhausting for me) to 10-12 hours without waking!!"

Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene by Ingrid Bauer
&
The Diaper-Free Baby: The Natural Toilet-Training Alternative by Christine Gross-Loh
"Read both, in this order. The first book lays the historical/philosophical groundwork, and the second I found more practical. It's broken up into sections depending on how old your baby is when you start practicing Elimination Communication. I called this our Less Dependence on Diapers movement, and there is something for every family to try so that the task of 'potty-training' is not left until age 3!"

Toilet Training in Less Than a Day by Nathan Azrin & Richard Foxx
"The time-tested and no-nonsense technique (published in 1976) that we used to make the complete switch from diapers to underwear when Soren was almost 2-1/2. Recommended to be used with children as young as 18 months. Not to be confused with the not-so-useful book Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day."

The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child (Sears Parenting Library)
“We are following a spread-out schedule based on this advice, but still getting the major vaccines roughly when they are recommended. 01/11 note: For the record, I think it's really important to vaccinate your child and in retrospect (now that Soren is 2-1/2), I wish I hadn't been peer-pressured into worrying about this issue. However, if you're on the fence, this book will speak to you and hopefully encourage you to vaccinate your child against at least the life-threatening diseases. See also next entry.”

"Cashing In on Fear: The Danger of Dr. Sears" (article by John Snyder on Science-Based Medicine blog)
01/11 update: "Read this BEFORE reading Dr. Sears' book (above). This article was sent to me by a relative who's a physician. The author's thesis is: 'So what does Dr. Sears have to say, exactly, about the risks of vaccines, and just how out of touch is he with medical science and epidemiology?' The debunking is well worth your consideration; thanks, Dr. Meg."

Love and Logic parenting techniques
The earlier these are implemented, the better! Before one year of age is ideal to start sharing control with your child by offering choices, developing his problem-solving abilities (not all your child's problems are your problems, too, I've learned), and raising a responsible kid who will have skills to succeed in the real world. We took a formal course when Soren was 2 years old and the parenting techniques are actually fun to use and help so much in taking the frustration out of everyday toddler interactions. The books are full of stories and easy to read; the audio lectures are good, too. Find these, plus tips and articles, at www.loveandlogic.com.

Ma! There's Nothing to Do Here! A Word from your Baby-in-Waiting (Picture Book)
“Really cute kids' book, but fun for expecting parents, too.”

Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year, by Anne Lamott
“The first book I read in snippets while nursing in the middle of the night. I laughed and I cried.”

Mothering magazine
"Unfortunately, this long-standing magazine stopped publishing in 2011, but back copies should be available at your library. Mothering.com continues as a web resource, and the Community Forums are extensive and fun to browse."

Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline: The 7 Basic Skills for Turning Conflict into Cooperation, by Becky A. Bailey
"Focuses on self-control and confidence-building for both parent and child. Discovered this parenting approach when Soren was 5 and wished I'd learned these skills sooner. Keeping my own composure gets harder the older he becomes. Each chapter directly answers questions I've been struggling with, in a very readable way laced with real-life examples."

Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting, by Jon & Myla Kabat-Zinn
"A beautiful book, discovered after my first Vipassana meditation retreat in mid-2013, and appreciated all the more for that experience. I loved the chapter describing parenting as an 18-year (minimum!) meditation retreat! Raising a child is really all about being in the 'now' as much as possible."

Catching up on Christmas festivities

Sorry about the time lag, but it seems difficult for me to download my photos in a timely fashion. I TAKE them, and think about sharing them with you, but then life gets busy. All you parents out there understand.

Anyway, two weekends ago, we took Soren downtown for the treelighting ceremony. He was fascinated by the streetlights, or the crenellated facades of the historic buildings, or something up there.

Our friend Sierra was with us. Note that I am wearing Soren in a new carrier -- a Maya Wrap sling. As he gets bigger and better able to hold his head up, it is handy for plopping him in and out of. Less work to put on than the Moby Wrap and less bulky than the Baby Bjorn. (Also note that I am wearing my new glasses. When I had my biannual eye exam in October, it turned out my left eye was a little nearsighted, which explained some of the struggles I've been having with my night vision especially. I thought it was due to a fluid imbalance during pregnancy, but it persisted for two months after giving birth. Well, It's been nearly 10 years since I had laser eye surgery, and overall I've been very happy with the results, so I'm not that bummed about wearing glasses every once in a while. Mostly when I drive, and especially at night. They really help.)

Afterwards we enjoyed a late night out at a local pizza joint, where two friends of ours were playing old-time music. Soren got danced around (shown here with Sierra) and was enthralled watching the musicians. He especially liked the dobro.

Long hair, short hair

I cut my hair off this week, harvesting at least 10 inches to donate to Locks of Love. I had a number of reasons for getting a new 'do, but primarily it was because I am in the throes of postpartum shedding and losing handfuls of long hair each time I showered was driving me nuts. It was getting tangled up in my fingers and dominating the bathing experience, which frankly is one of the few quiet, private, rosy times in a new mother's life, and I was missing out!

So my dear friend Sierra was visiting last weekend from Seattle and kindly did this photo shoot of me and Soren, for the record.

And here's the chin-length bob, still long enough to just fit in a ponytail. Soren still seems to recognize me.
Our friend Ingrid is visiting this weekend from Anacortes and we had all planned to go to a contra dance this evening, but Soren had a pretty fussy evening and I wasn't about to disturb him once he finally fell asleep around 7 p.m. Ingrid went to the dance herself at 9 p.m., which is just as well because Jeff and I are both lacking social capital right now. We're quite content to chill at home and go to bed early ourselves.

And we have more visitors coming to us soon: midweek, aunties Jill and Nora are supposed to arrive and stay with us through Christmas! Hoping all of you have happy holiday plans. We'll be enjoying them in Port Townsend.

Soren's first book -- take a peek!

Whaddya know, Soren's first book has been published. No, he's not the author (that would be Mom), he's the subject. And a very photogenic one at that.

S'ing Around with Soren is a photo book I created with an online publishing service, Blurb.com. Guess what everyone is getting for Christmas gifts?

The theme is action verbs that start with Soren's favorite letter of the alphabet: S. If you want to see some adorable pictures along the lines of "Soren spitting" and "Soren spitting up," then preview the first 15 pages of the 40-page book by clicking this link, then clicking on the orange "preview this book" banner across the book's cover. You can "turn" the pages (make sure you go all the way to the end and see the back cover) and if you are so inclined, order yourself a copy for $13 softcover plus $7-10 shipping depending on where you live in the U.S.

(Warning: I just clicked on the banner at 9 p.m. Tuesday night and the preview option was "temporarily disabled due to high load." Maybe try in the morning...)

P.S. If you are Soren's grandparent, great-grandparent or aunt, you may want to skip the online preview and be surprised with your hard copy on Christmas morning -- but it's up to you.

P.P.S. The Blurb software was surprisingly easy to use. I have done photo books with Kodak in the past, and Blurb was way easier and their help forum was very user-friendly and their prices are the cheapest I have found on the web. I can't wait to see the finished product!

Soren's in fine standing

It's nearly 10 p.m. and I should be in bed, because Soren's been sleeping for three hours, and can only be relied upon for one more in this sleep-stretch, and it's best if I get SOME sleep before his first night waking... But I just have to share these adorable photos of our little boy from the past week.

He wants to stand on his own two legs ALL THE TIME now. If he's fussing, we just stand him up, and he calms down. He likes to practice his new skill, we think.

Of course, we have to balance Soren ever-so-slightly, but the strength of the standing pose is all his. Hmm, makes me think we'll have to child-proof the house sooner than later!




















Oh, yes, this smiling photo was taken with Soren's knitted "babylegs" on his arms, but that didn't last long.

Happy Thanksgiving from The Roost

Happy day-after Thanksgiving to all our readers! We hosted Grandpa Jim and Grandma Gloria at The Roost; they drove over the mountains from Eastern Washington and helped cook a turkey dinner. It was unanimous that this year we are thankful for Soren. Here are some happy photos from the day.



Soren's newest trick is standing up with very little balancing assistance--on laps, on table-tops, on the floor. Such strong legs!

And he is continuing to take music lessons from his pop.

Soren's all hung up!

"How is he sleeping?" friends and even perfect strangers ask when they see our active, alert baby. Well, the answer is, "Much better, now that we're putting him to bed in a hammock!"

We actually have two hammocks strung up for Soren's sleeping pleasure, and it's been a little over two weeks that he's been testing them out. I will go so far as to say they have transformed our nights and quieted our days.

We started with an Amby hammock upstairs, next to our bed. It replaced a bassinet that required Soren to sleep on his back on a flat, firm surface, which all new parents know is the optimal positioning, but his "startle reflex" was so strong, he consistently flailed his limbs when laid down and woke himself up, sometimes with a swift BOP to his forehead! Yes, we tried swaddling, and that worked up until he was six weeks old, but then he protested and kicked his way out of his swaddle blankets, even when we knotted them. I tell you, there is nothing more disheartening than having a baby get mad and wake himself up in the middle of the night after you nurse him, change his diaper, and attempt to re-swaddle him... Then we tried laying Soren on his side and keeping him there with two foam wedges, but still the upright arm flailed unstoppably. He slept better, but only marginally so.

Finally I turned to the intriguing hammock bed that a friend of mine had for her preemie. After doing some web research, I concluded it was probably a good fit for our restless sleeper, but balked at the $240 price tag. So I put out a call on our local "PTBabies" listserve (an awesome networking tool) for one to borrow, try and possibly buy. Four people in the area responded (!), and we had one delivered a few days later, which we eventually bought for $100. I only wish we'd had it from the beginning.

The concept is that a hammock's curved and cozy sleep environment resembles the womb, and because it is attached to a spring, any movement on the part of the baby bounces the hammock and a twitch that might lead to waking on a flat surface actually jiggles the baby BACK to sleep. I've seen it, so I believe it! The Amby attaches to a movable stand, and after two weeks of locating it next to our bed (pictured), where I could reach out and bounce it myself in the middle of the night if I heard restless noises, this past weekend we moved it into the baby nook outside our CLOSED bedroom door. The first night I recalled what deep sleep really is. He slept a four-hour stretch and I was not disturbed by all his little night noises -- snuffles, chirps, sighs, etc.

I know there are as many sleeping arrangements as there are families, but our long-term goal is to have Soren sleeping in his own space and someday soon sleeping through the night. He slept in bed with just me (Jeff moved to a guest bed) for his first month, and for most of his second month he spent part of the night in either the bassinet or the carseat (that's where he first managed to sleep all night without me bringing him into bed to calm him) or the Amby hammock. He turned 12 weeks old before we moved his bed out of our bedroom (and got Jeff back in it!).

Now, for napping. We prefer to have Soren close at hand on our main floor during the day, so we'd been putting him down to nap in his carseat. At one point we even strung it up on ropes from a beam in our living room so we could swing him in it (I know, not in the manufacturer's recommendations!). The swing worked, but someone had to sit nearby and push it every so often to keep the motion going. About a week and a half ago, we introduced two new and improved napping tools: a Fisher Price side-to-side battery-operated swing (purchased used for $12) and another hammock bed that was given to us on a long-term loan by a family that responded to my PTBabies post. Soren loves both, and interestingly prefers the battery-operated swing for his morning nap and the hammock bed for his afternoon nap. He sleeps three-hour stretches during the day in the latter!

The downstairs hammock bed is called a Happy Hangup, and is made in Australia and costs about $130 US. It didn't come with a stand, but the website offers one -- and we have the beam in the living room that works great. I also have to say it adds to the aesthetics of our home in a way that the jury-rigged hanging carseat did not.

So, I could go on and on about sleep -- what we're all getting and what we're not -- but I think it's time for this post to come to an end. Yawn.

Our friend, the little fiddler

"Papaw" Bill is visiting, and today he handed off a little fiddle he MADE to its new owner. Yes, that's right, our friend Evelyn is now the proud owner of a kid-size violin hand-crafted by Shelly's dad.

Bill is so crafty, and a musician at heart -- so when Evelyn's mom happened to mention how she was looking for a miniature fiddle for her 2-year-old, since every time she got out her fiddle to play it, Evelyn wanted to play it too, and it's really too fragile for toddler hands, Shelly volunteered her dad's services. Hey, he's retired -- what else is all that free time for?!

The body is made from the wood from the bottom of a drawer, and it's strung with a set of worn-out violin strings. It's played with a chopped-down old bow with horsehair that can be loosened or tightened. Bill says making the pegs for the strings was the most challenging part, but carving out the neck took a while, too.

Evelyn has promised us a recital one year from now, when she's worked on some tunes!

Froggy Friend & Baby Legs

No, NOT frog legs, perish the thought! These are two separate subjects.

"Froggy Friend" is the first toy Soren has bonded with. It is basically a green washcloth with satin edges and two rubber teething "arms" and a stuffed frog head. Scott & Jen gifted it to us when he was younger, and after a few days of watching Soren stuff blankets and his bib into his mouth, we came to our senses and took it out of the box. He loves it! It calms him down when he is fussy, and he does this adorable thing where he tucks it under his arm and won't drop it when you pick him up. It's also a useful prop for the "Five green and speckled frogs" song.

"Baby Legs" are the commercial name for the 80s leg warmers that have come back into style in baby fashionland. These lovely ones were knit by Auntie Jill during her last visit here over the Halloween weekend. He's worn them every day since, with the cold weather we've been having.

If you're not already following Soren's "other blog," there's another picture on sorentalks.blogspot.com with the Baby Legs.

Our li'l punkin

Happy Halloween! We took Soren downtown to the Kiddie Trick or Treat event, and although his costume was quite basic, he got lots of double-takes and then big grins. And we didn't have to worry about him getting cold on this grey and blustery fall day.

Soren has this uncanny ability to stare without blinking for minutes at a time. I swear, he looked like a doll -- and even more so after he fell asleep.






























Under Jeff's overcoat, Soren was wearing his purple fleece suit AND cute jack o-lantern socks. These and the hat were a gift from our friend Sierra.

Here is a bonus video taken last week, of Jeff dancing Soren around the living room to an upbeat Irish tune.