Book list for new mamas - updated 11/13

I just found out a friend of mine is pregnant and expecting in a few months (congrats, Betsey!), and after I counseled her to do some reading about newborns before she had one (something I didn't really do -- I was too focused on pregnancy and birth, but in retrospect that stage is more innate than parenting!), she asked me what books I'd found most helpful.

I thought about it, and compiled this list of my top picks, adding a brief comment on my experience with the resource next to each book or DVD.

Please comment if you have suggestions or additions for Betsey and all new mamas out there!

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
“Read others' natural birth stories for inspiration.”

Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation
“Creative ways to think about labor and birth.”

The Business of Being Born (DVD)
“Inspired me to have a home water birth, but worth watching for other reasons. Produced by talk-show host Ricki Lake and tells her home water birth story!”

The Nursing Mother's Companion: Revised Edition
”Read before beginning to breastfeed, and refer to after. If you thought giving birth was hard, establishing nursing can be harder. But it's worth being persistent. Mama's milk really is best. Soren's nearly three and we're still nursing a few times a day!”

The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Revised and Updated Edition), by the Sears
“Big, fat reference book. Not EVERYTHING you need to know, but most of it!”

The Happiest Baby on the Block - The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Baby Sleep Longer (DVD)
“Super-helpful soothing techniques. Watch before birth and right after.”

The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night
“Read BEFORE your baby is born, and keep in mind in the early days of sleep.”

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
&
Good Night, Sleep Tight (The Sleep Lady's Guide)
"Read when your baby is 4-6 months old, if the techniques of the above book aren't working for you -- we didn't follow these books' advice until Soren was 10 months old, but then got rapid results. He went from sleeping 2-4 hour stretches (exhausting for me) to 10-12 hours without waking!!"

Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene by Ingrid Bauer
&
The Diaper-Free Baby: The Natural Toilet-Training Alternative by Christine Gross-Loh
"Read both, in this order. The first book lays the historical/philosophical groundwork, and the second I found more practical. It's broken up into sections depending on how old your baby is when you start practicing Elimination Communication. I called this our Less Dependence on Diapers movement, and there is something for every family to try so that the task of 'potty-training' is not left until age 3!"

Toilet Training in Less Than a Day by Nathan Azrin & Richard Foxx
"The time-tested and no-nonsense technique (published in 1976) that we used to make the complete switch from diapers to underwear when Soren was almost 2-1/2. Recommended to be used with children as young as 18 months. Not to be confused with the not-so-useful book Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day."

The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child (Sears Parenting Library)
“We are following a spread-out schedule based on this advice, but still getting the major vaccines roughly when they are recommended. 01/11 note: For the record, I think it's really important to vaccinate your child and in retrospect (now that Soren is 2-1/2), I wish I hadn't been peer-pressured into worrying about this issue. However, if you're on the fence, this book will speak to you and hopefully encourage you to vaccinate your child against at least the life-threatening diseases. See also next entry.”

"Cashing In on Fear: The Danger of Dr. Sears" (article by John Snyder on Science-Based Medicine blog)
01/11 update: "Read this BEFORE reading Dr. Sears' book (above). This article was sent to me by a relative who's a physician. The author's thesis is: 'So what does Dr. Sears have to say, exactly, about the risks of vaccines, and just how out of touch is he with medical science and epidemiology?' The debunking is well worth your consideration; thanks, Dr. Meg."

Love and Logic parenting techniques
The earlier these are implemented, the better! Before one year of age is ideal to start sharing control with your child by offering choices, developing his problem-solving abilities (not all your child's problems are your problems, too, I've learned), and raising a responsible kid who will have skills to succeed in the real world. We took a formal course when Soren was 2 years old and the parenting techniques are actually fun to use and help so much in taking the frustration out of everyday toddler interactions. The books are full of stories and easy to read; the audio lectures are good, too. Find these, plus tips and articles, at www.loveandlogic.com.

Ma! There's Nothing to Do Here! A Word from your Baby-in-Waiting (Picture Book)
“Really cute kids' book, but fun for expecting parents, too.”

Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year, by Anne Lamott
“The first book I read in snippets while nursing in the middle of the night. I laughed and I cried.”

Mothering magazine
"Unfortunately, this long-standing magazine stopped publishing in 2011, but back copies should be available at your library. Mothering.com continues as a web resource, and the Community Forums are extensive and fun to browse."

Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline: The 7 Basic Skills for Turning Conflict into Cooperation, by Becky A. Bailey
"Focuses on self-control and confidence-building for both parent and child. Discovered this parenting approach when Soren was 5 and wished I'd learned these skills sooner. Keeping my own composure gets harder the older he becomes. Each chapter directly answers questions I've been struggling with, in a very readable way laced with real-life examples."

Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting, by Jon & Myla Kabat-Zinn
"A beautiful book, discovered after my first Vipassana meditation retreat in mid-2013, and appreciated all the more for that experience. I loved the chapter describing parenting as an 18-year (minimum!) meditation retreat! Raising a child is really all about being in the 'now' as much as possible."

Our purple people-eater

I know, I know -- it's been a long time since my last post! My excuse is that I have been stumbling through a newsletter contract I accepted before Soren was born, thinking "how hard can it be to put together a simple four-page newsletter with a newborn? Won't he sleep all the time, etc., etc.?" HA! is all I can say in hindsight. But a smashing newsletter will be going to the printer on Monday, and then I'll breathe a huge sigh of relief and settle down to mothering Soren full-time.

I've been steadily taking photographs of our boy, however, and have lots to share, so I'll pop a few up here and add more in the days to come.

The Baby Bjorn is Soren's newest favorite carrier, worn here by Dad:
And when we take him on walks outside, we zip Soren into this adorable purple fleece suit. At first we called him "Our Li'l Grape."

Then the family that handed down the suit to us informed us they always called their daughter "Our Li'l Eggplant" when she was zipped up in it.
And the latest nickname is "Our Purple People-Eater"... or Mr. Purple Smiley Face!

The grandparents approve

Both sets of grandparents have now met Soren and given their adoring seal of approval. Grandma Gloria and Grandpa Jim arrived from Eastern Washington today for a two-day visit, wisely booking themselves a hotel room.
Soren has now lived through two baths in his first week of life. The first he liked; the second he squalled throughout. The very good news is that he is a champion breastfeeder and after my milk came in at the end of Day 4, we have been ascending the learning curve together and enjoying it. For the last couple of nights he has slept for 2- and 3-hour chunks, which is much appreciated.

Aunt Jill is able to stay through Sunday, making her an invaluable "mother's helper" for this first week and a half. She's just finished her first quarter of nursing school and should get extra credit for this! We have also been blessed with meals from friends delivered every other day, which all seem to include chocolate...good call! Thanks to everyone who has sent their congratulations and helped with this transition to parenthood.

Introducing Soren William

And he shall be called...Soren William Randall.

Named after Jeff's grandfather, William Sorensen, who was born in Denmark. Shelly's father and grandfather are also both named William, so Soren's middle name crosses family lines. We had to live with our little boy for a day to confirm this was indeed a good, strong name for him.

Weight: 8 pounds even
Length: 20-1/2 inches
Hair color: strawberry blond
Eye color: slate blue

We are enjoying a "babymoon" -- staying at home doing nothing but falling in love with our new family triad. Visitors from my side of the family so far are Grandma Ann & Grandpa Bill (one of the Williams) and Aunt Jill.
Note the "blue nun" swaddling method we have adopted.

And here's the banner that was hung the day after Soren's birth to announce him to the neighborhood!

Welcome to our son!

Our healthy baby boy was born this afternoon at our home, in a beautiful water birth. Mommy and Daddy are both doing well, and so is our son -- who awaits his name as we get to know him better! May post birth photos later, but not tonight. Gotta try feeding again and get some rest.

Our friend and doula Leah was so wonderful and at my prior request baked a birthday cake after the birth that we can share with friends and family who come visiting. We lit a symbolic candle for our child on his first day of life, and I ate the whole delicious slice!