Book list for new mamas - updated 11/13

I just found out a friend of mine is pregnant and expecting in a few months (congrats, Betsey!), and after I counseled her to do some reading about newborns before she had one (something I didn't really do -- I was too focused on pregnancy and birth, but in retrospect that stage is more innate than parenting!), she asked me what books I'd found most helpful.

I thought about it, and compiled this list of my top picks, adding a brief comment on my experience with the resource next to each book or DVD.

Please comment if you have suggestions or additions for Betsey and all new mamas out there!

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
“Read others' natural birth stories for inspiration.”

Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation
“Creative ways to think about labor and birth.”

The Business of Being Born (DVD)
“Inspired me to have a home water birth, but worth watching for other reasons. Produced by talk-show host Ricki Lake and tells her home water birth story!”

The Nursing Mother's Companion: Revised Edition
”Read before beginning to breastfeed, and refer to after. If you thought giving birth was hard, establishing nursing can be harder. But it's worth being persistent. Mama's milk really is best. Soren's nearly three and we're still nursing a few times a day!”

The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (Revised and Updated Edition), by the Sears
“Big, fat reference book. Not EVERYTHING you need to know, but most of it!”

The Happiest Baby on the Block - The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Baby Sleep Longer (DVD)
“Super-helpful soothing techniques. Watch before birth and right after.”

The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night
“Read BEFORE your baby is born, and keep in mind in the early days of sleep.”

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
&
Good Night, Sleep Tight (The Sleep Lady's Guide)
"Read when your baby is 4-6 months old, if the techniques of the above book aren't working for you -- we didn't follow these books' advice until Soren was 10 months old, but then got rapid results. He went from sleeping 2-4 hour stretches (exhausting for me) to 10-12 hours without waking!!"

Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene by Ingrid Bauer
&
The Diaper-Free Baby: The Natural Toilet-Training Alternative by Christine Gross-Loh
"Read both, in this order. The first book lays the historical/philosophical groundwork, and the second I found more practical. It's broken up into sections depending on how old your baby is when you start practicing Elimination Communication. I called this our Less Dependence on Diapers movement, and there is something for every family to try so that the task of 'potty-training' is not left until age 3!"

Toilet Training in Less Than a Day by Nathan Azrin & Richard Foxx
"The time-tested and no-nonsense technique (published in 1976) that we used to make the complete switch from diapers to underwear when Soren was almost 2-1/2. Recommended to be used with children as young as 18 months. Not to be confused with the not-so-useful book Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day."

The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child (Sears Parenting Library)
“We are following a spread-out schedule based on this advice, but still getting the major vaccines roughly when they are recommended. 01/11 note: For the record, I think it's really important to vaccinate your child and in retrospect (now that Soren is 2-1/2), I wish I hadn't been peer-pressured into worrying about this issue. However, if you're on the fence, this book will speak to you and hopefully encourage you to vaccinate your child against at least the life-threatening diseases. See also next entry.”

"Cashing In on Fear: The Danger of Dr. Sears" (article by John Snyder on Science-Based Medicine blog)
01/11 update: "Read this BEFORE reading Dr. Sears' book (above). This article was sent to me by a relative who's a physician. The author's thesis is: 'So what does Dr. Sears have to say, exactly, about the risks of vaccines, and just how out of touch is he with medical science and epidemiology?' The debunking is well worth your consideration; thanks, Dr. Meg."

Love and Logic parenting techniques
The earlier these are implemented, the better! Before one year of age is ideal to start sharing control with your child by offering choices, developing his problem-solving abilities (not all your child's problems are your problems, too, I've learned), and raising a responsible kid who will have skills to succeed in the real world. We took a formal course when Soren was 2 years old and the parenting techniques are actually fun to use and help so much in taking the frustration out of everyday toddler interactions. The books are full of stories and easy to read; the audio lectures are good, too. Find these, plus tips and articles, at www.loveandlogic.com.

Ma! There's Nothing to Do Here! A Word from your Baby-in-Waiting (Picture Book)
“Really cute kids' book, but fun for expecting parents, too.”

Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year, by Anne Lamott
“The first book I read in snippets while nursing in the middle of the night. I laughed and I cried.”

Mothering magazine
"Unfortunately, this long-standing magazine stopped publishing in 2011, but back copies should be available at your library. Mothering.com continues as a web resource, and the Community Forums are extensive and fun to browse."

Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline: The 7 Basic Skills for Turning Conflict into Cooperation, by Becky A. Bailey
"Focuses on self-control and confidence-building for both parent and child. Discovered this parenting approach when Soren was 5 and wished I'd learned these skills sooner. Keeping my own composure gets harder the older he becomes. Each chapter directly answers questions I've been struggling with, in a very readable way laced with real-life examples."

Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting, by Jon & Myla Kabat-Zinn
"A beautiful book, discovered after my first Vipassana meditation retreat in mid-2013, and appreciated all the more for that experience. I loved the chapter describing parenting as an 18-year (minimum!) meditation retreat! Raising a child is really all about being in the 'now' as much as possible."