Regaling our relations

We have been delighting our relations (as well as the other way 'round) with many visits this summer. Above, that's Soren and Jill in Portland in June. Here are some recent snaps of Soren with other relatives:

Canoeing on Heart Lake with Papaw Bill, in an aluminum Grumman. We've taken the canoe out twice this summer.

Sharing chocolate milkshakes with Daddy, Grandpa Jim & Grandma Gloria in the Steamboat Rock Cafe and chatting with the proprietor, who attended Soren's baby shower (!).

I would've photographed Soren at the Banks Lake beach, where he clamored to spend most of our visit, but I dropped my point-and-shoot camera on a visit to a friend's farm and broke the LCD screen. Jim set me up with a spare camera of his right as we were leaving, after the beach action. (Thanks, Jim -- my documentary work can continue!)

Soren was not the youngest at a Garrison/Rees family reunion at the Vashon beach property. One generation was represented by my mom and her brother, cousin, and cousin-in-law. The cousin-in-law's son (my age) attended with his partner and two-year-old. The elders were Soren's Great-Grandpa Gerry and his first wife's sister.

Here's Soren with the sister, Margie. The closest we'll come to knowing what his late great-grandmother (who died before I was born) would have looked like at 90. (Pretty good, I'd say -- Margie went for a paddle in the sea kayaks after enjoying ice cream!)

And the hand-cranked ice cream master passing on his wisdom of this time-honored family tradition to the youngest generation... A Vashon picnic wouldn't be the same without it.

Soren spent his first night in a tent after this reunion picnic, as he and I camped out on the beach afterward, accompanied by Ann & Bill. He slept like a log in the tent we shared, and was brimming with excitement over the activity every moment he was awake. Will have to do that again!

In two days, we're taking the train to Portland for another visit to Jill. It's a bit of a trek to take public transport, which starts with a bus ride (or in this case, a carpool) from PT to the Bainbridge ferry, a 30-minute ferry ride across Puget Sound, a 20-minute walk thru Seattle's Pioneer Square to the King Street Station, and a 3-1/2-hour Amtrak ride. We're riding south with another family with a 3-year-old, but coming north it will be just the two of us. Wish me luck!

Beach & more: What we've been up to this summer

This summer has felt too busy already! Suffice to say this blog has suffered. Sorry to all our loyal readers, but who wants to sit indoors at a computer during the only two warm-weather months of the year??

That said, it has been unseasonably cold and even rainy. Our June-bearing strawberries didn't merit a first harvest until July, and who knows if our tomatoes will ripen?

But we've gotten to the beach on many, many lovely days. It's such a joy to be past the sand-eating, sand-throwing stage Soren was in last year. He even willingly wears his sunglasses now.


And we occasionally use the rubber raft we acquired at a garage sale. It's just big enough for me and Soren. He's not quite adept enough to row yet, but just wait!

One new commitment I made this summer was to run a toddler story hour at our Maritime Center -- every Thursday in July and August. Well, the first three Thursdays of "Sea Squirts Storytime" were cold and rainy, which no doubt helped boost attendance. We've had a fun time of it, with our first session focused on the cruising pet "Salty Dog" (a book series by Ted & Gloria Rand), the next on lighthouses ("The Lighthouse Cat" and "Comet's Nine Lives"), the next on fishing (Robert McCloskey's "Burt Dow, Deepwater Man"), and the most recent on competitive rowing ("My Mommy Rows"). Here's a photo of Soren and friend from the fishing Thursday, when the kids tried on foul weather gear sized adult XS!

For a silly publicity photo of me, see the poster created to promote "Sea Squirts."

Now kids come up to me saying "Ahoy, Shipshape Shelly!" Volunteering to do this kids' program has awakened the teacher in me. And reminded me to practice my sailor's instruments: the pennywhistle and the bones. Both have made appearances at story hour. I even sang "The Eddystone Light" -- the non-racy version, of course, where the lighthouse keeper marries the mermaid.

Soren and I have been biking all over town with our handy-dandy bike trailer, and trying to attend every Free Friday Concert at Fort Worden associated with Centrum's summer festivals. One time Soren fell asleep on the way home, so I unhitched the trailer, propped it back against our driveway retaining wall, and let him sleep.
I'll close with a pic of Jeff and Soren. They really are two peas in a pod, my goofy boys. Look how long Soren is growing! Jeff estimates he'll match my height by age 9. Probably.

Graduating to the Big-Boy Bed

Drum roll please... Introducing our BIG BOY!

(And doesn't he look it, in his new shades?)

The breaking news is that Soren slept in his big-boy bed last night for the first time -- with no diaper on and the potty chair standing by, but he didn't get up to use it, and the bed was dry in the a.m.!!!

He is really proud of himself. We'll see how Night #2 goes... :-)

Moving the toddler bed up from basement storage was an impromptu decision made late last night when Soren refused to put a diaper on when getting dressed in his jammies. "I'm a big boy; I don't wear diapers anymore," he argued, quite rationally. (He's been fully day-potty-trained since early March.) When I asked (rhetorically) what he intended to do if he had to pee in the middle of the night, he hesitated only a second before replying, "I would call: 'Mo-o-o-ommy, Da-a-a-addy'" (his usual wake-up call from the confines of his crib).

"Um, that doesn't work for me," I told him. "You can't wake us up if you have to pee."

Which logically led to trying out the bed, something Jeff and I had been putting off as long as we could. Except for the nighttime pottying issue, it's so CONVENIENT that he can't climb out of his crib. It has a crib tent over the top and we still use it occasionally for out-of-control time outs. That option is probably defunct now...

Since we haven't disassembled the crib yet, the cute white frame toddler bed is sitting next to it right now, making for a tight squeeze in the L-shaped loft. The hastily made-up rules are:
1) Soren can't climb out of the bed once we say "good night" until morning (we're trying to enforce that this means 7 a.m.);
2) he doesn't have to empty the potty pot if he goes in it;
3) releatedly, he shouldn't climb down the loft ladder in the middle of the night (too dangerous).

When he woke up this morning, he proudly told us, "I followed the rules!"

I fully expected to be awakened by him either needing assistance to use the potty chair, or crying in a wet bed, but he didn't make a peep all night long, and slept 11 hours to boot -- 8 p.m. to 7 a.m.

This SORT OF makes up for all the sleep interruptions of the previous 2-3/4 years (!).

OK, since I haven't posted in so long, here are a few cute pix from the month of May:

Soren and friend Django enjoying popsicles today during a rare sunbreak. Note how refreshed Soren looks from his first night's sleep in the big-boy bed!

Father and son, the likeness becoming more and more apparent.

And he may be our big boy, but he's not too big for a bath in the laundry sink yet!

"I've been workin' on the railroad"

As one of Soren's favorite songs goes, he's "been workin' on the railroad." His toy railroad, that is. Working hard at his new toolbench, which is right next to Daddy's toolbench in our shop. (Thanks to the Behrenfelds for handing down this nifty piece of furniture, and to Papaw Bill for donating the vise!)

In the past month, Soren and Jeff have collaborated on building an engine shed (above) and a bridge (below) for the Take-Along Thomas railway.

Safety first! Soren dons eye and ear protection for some jigsawing on a piece of trim for the engine shed.

Look ma, no hands! No help from Daddy's hands, that is, but just for an instant, so Mom could take this adorable photo. Soren IS allowed to lock a piece of wood in his vise and file grooves in it on his own, which is highly self-entertaining.

Here's the bridge, mostly constructed by Jeff, and detailed to look like stone with his new dremel. He carved the ends so it interlocks with the plastic track. In the background you see Cranky Crane at left and the Engine Works with washdown station at right (a Christmas gift from Grandma Gloria & Grandpa Jim). We're building quite the collection.

This entry on railroads at The Roost would not be complete without mention of Soren's new train table. Jeff built this to house his childhood electric train, which needs the track tacked down in order to run properly. He'd gotten the train set out once around Christmas to show Soren and our train-crazy son never forgot about it. After much pestering, Jeff came up with a design for a table that fits over an existing climbing platform he built Soren. It is on permanent display in our basement romper room.

The electric train is temperamental, so often Soren just pushes the train cars along with his hands -- or just takes his horse for a gallop alongside the tracks! Not a day goes by without some form of train play at this house.

Potty Training P.S.: We've now had one month of total success in Soren using the potty and keeping his pants "clean and dry." Four times in that month he's woken up from a nap with wet pants, but NO other accidents. We're thrilled he's adapted to this new reality so completely. Diapers seem like the distant past...

Jumping for joy: He's potty-trained!

Yesterday, Soren and Jeff were on a "guys outing" to the PT Aero Museum and when it came time to use the bathroom, Soren wouldn't let Jeff into the stall with him. Our 2-1/2-year-old locked the door behind him, climbed up on the big toilet by himself, peed, flushed -- the whole works. Jeff reported that when Soren emerged, his pant waist was a little crooked, but that was all that needed parental follow-up.

Whoo hoo!

The breakthrough came 2-1/2 weeks after the day we switched from diapers to underwear and undertook an intensive training session. There were only two "dry days" (no accidents all day long) in that spell, and I was beginning to think we'd screwed up somewhere. The accidents (with both pee and poop) would happen randomly, but more often when Soren was away from home or deep into play and unwilling to take a break to use the potty -- even though he would be crossing his legs and holding his crotch. Sheesh, it was enough to make a parent flip!

But I'd read somewhere that three weeks was a common adjustment period, so I kept telling Jeff and myself we wouldn't panic until three weeks had passed. We did our best to be consistent in requiring Soren to do "practice" runs to the nearest bathroom each time he had an accident. He hated these, and would be screaming and crying as we steered him along with a hand on his shoulder, saying, "Soren wet his pants. Soren has to practice going to the potty. Go fast! Now practice going from the kitchen. Now practice going from the front door," etc. Our training manual called for 10 practice runs after an accident, but we contented ourselves with three or five.

I think it finally sunk in for Soren that he would have to keep up the hated "practice" every time he wet his pants; that it wasn't just a game we were playing for a little while. From March 2 on, he has not only stayed dry, he has also taken more and more responsibility for pottying himself without any help.

Now that that's behind us, we can look ahead... As Soren does here in last winter's rainbow stripeys. (I dressed him up one more time in this adorable but getting-too-small ensemble for this archival photo in mid-February before we handed down everything but the scarf and socks.)

Pottying milestones in just the last few days have included:

• Waking up from a nap on the big bed, which he can climb off of, and meeting me at the top of the stairs saying, "I have to go potty." And then going!
• Hopping down from the table as we lunched with Great-Grandpa Gerry, saying he had to go poop, and stopping me from following him to the bathroom with a traffic-cop hand. "No, Mommy, you stay here and talk with my grandpa [sic]." Then he pottied himself, accepting help wiping at the end.
• Peeing standing up, including outside at a roadside bus stop halfway through his first public transportation ride from Seattle home to PT (one ferry, two buses, and no bathrooms once we board the bus, which had me worried). We have to help him hold his penis for now, so it doesn't dribble on his clothes, but I very much doubt that will last much longer, at the rate we're going!

Nora and Gerry both witnessed Soren's skills, so they'll vouch that I'm telling the truth. We so enjoyed a four-day visit from Auntie Nono and a day visit with Great-Grandpa this past week. Here they are after helping Soren with a jigsaw puzzle. Our little boy has many reasons to be proud.

Our big boy is using the potty (mostly)

We're on Day 6 of underpants, having abandoned diapers cold-turkey on Feb. 11. Soren is such a BIG BOY. Aren't you proud of him?

Day 1 was impressively accident-free, then we had to wait until Day 5 (yesterday) to achieve all-day dry again. If this trend holds, I guess we can say Soren was potty-trained by age 2-1/2!

OK, so how did it happen? Well, the background is that we've been experimenting with "diaper-free" techniques from the time Soren was nine months old (we should've started earlier, but didn't learn about them until then). So he's been peeing sporadically on his Baby Bjorn potty chair since then (see photo from Summer '09). The concept of the toilet is quite familiar to him, and both Jeff and I have demonstrated and talked openly about its use.

Both of the last summers he ran naked a good deal of the time, eliminating mostly in the great outdoors and occasionally indoors on the floor. I was keen to potty-train him last summer, especially as his best friend (a girl) made the leap around two years of age, but I didn't have a strong training script to follow and I guess Soren just wasn't ready. He often resisted our suggestions. We also were not bold enough to forgo the diapers. So we stopped pushing it but kept the potty chair in full view.

I saw new signs of readiness in Soren in December, but plans to potty-train were waylaid by him suffering a low-level cold all month as well as the looming holidays. The New Year turned and I was more focused on planning my first night away from Soren (see previous post) than I was potty-training him. Yet I'd stationed his favorite potty chair in our main floor bathroom and had done some library reading on the subject over the holidays. I decided to order my own copy of the book Toilet Training In Less Than A Day.

This method was first published in 1976 -- the year I was born -- so it has stood the test of time, and its no-nonsense behavioral psychology resonated with me. I also liked that it makes potty-training a fun challenge for the child (and a rewarding one, literally, with lots of treat options). It recommended training before age 2-1/2 for maximum effectiveness, so I felt some time pressure since that happens on Feb. 27. I found a date on my calendar -- Feb. 11 -- that fell after two upcoming weekend trips and preceded a free weekend at home, and wrote across it, "Potty Training Day."

The book came in the mail and I left it on our dining room table, where Soren soon found it and began looking at the illustrations. This was not part of my plan, but he studiously examined the pictures of the child figure following the steps to potty himself self-sufficiently, including pulling down pants, emptying the pot into the toilet, replacing it in the potty chair, and flushing.

Then GUESS WHAT?? A couple of days later, in a diaper-free moment (we were still giving him lots of those), Soren hopped off his seat at the dining table, said, "I have to go to the bathroom," ran to the potty chair in the bathroom, sat, and peed right away. Before I could offer to lend a hand, Soren was on his feet, had the removable potty chair pot in his hand, lifted the toilet lid and seat together, dumped the pee, replaced the pot on the chair, closed the lid, and climbed up to flush. I was stunned. I only had to remind him to wash his hands.

I have to give some credit for Soren's new interest in the potty to the Love & Logic parenting class I'd started that same week (it's an eight-week course that is still ongoing). Without going into details, the Love & Logic approach involves sharing control with the child through small choices, and I started implementing this right away (see examples of how to do this). I could see that Soren immediately felt more empowered in his daily life, and I think he freely CHOSE to use the potty once he no longer felt it was a task we imposed on him.

Interestingly, for the next two-and-a-half weeks, Soren continued to pee in his potty when he was bare-bottomed, but consistently peed in his clothing every time we experimented with no diaper under his pants. So we waited until we'd returned from our planned trips to do the big training that revolved around giving up diapers forever (we started giving premonitions of this a week prior). On that day -- last Friday -- we shared with Soren the exciting news that he would no longer be wearing diapers, sent Jeff off to work, and started our hard work around 9:30 a.m. This included making and eating lots of popsicles and drinking lots of fluids so that Soren would have the urge to pee. Here he is in his Thomas the Train underwear, enjoying one of those popsicles and looking so big-boyish!
Training Soren's doll "Baby" (as he has always called it) came first in the Less Than A Day technique. Before asking Soren to sit on the potty, I asked him to show Baby how to use it. So both Soren and Baby donned underwear (I'd made Baby a pair from a cut-up sock toe) and had something to drink. Then Soren pulled down Baby's underpants and set his doll on a little toy potty. Here's where I got creative: the book suggests a wetting doll that you can "feed" water and then squeeze to "pee," but gosh darn if I couldn't lay my hands on one. I asked everyone I knew, to no avail, and I wasn't going to buy one. So we pretended to give Baby sips from a cup of water, and then when Soren was momentarily distracted, I used an eyedropper to drip some water dyed with yellow food coloring into Baby's potty.

"Check and see if Baby's peed," I casually suggested to Soren. He looked at me a little funny, but obediently lifted up his doll and did a double-take. I nearly laughed out loud when he then turned Baby over and stared hard at his soft-bodied crotch, like, "Where did THAT come from?" I DID laugh when he followed this with, "Baby's pee is green!" That's what you get with yellow liquid in a turquoise blue potty!

Both Baby and Soren got edible treats (kept handy in my pocket) for this pottying success, and Soren seemed to be enjoying this little game. We redressed Baby and showed him how to feel between his legs and report that his pants were dry when we asked. Again, when Soren's back was turned, I spilled a little water on Baby's underwear. When Soren conducted the next "dry pants inspection," he reported (again, with a sense of wonder) that they were wet. Glory be! We then showed Baby what to do when he'd had an accident. We used the language of "wet pants are bad, Baby," and "wet pants are no fun," and "big boys have dry pants." Then we ran Baby through a Positive Practice drill, where he had to hurry through several practice potty runs from different spots in the house, including where he'd had the accident. "Go fast, Baby wet his pants, Baby has to practice..." Only then did we change Baby's wet underpants and put on a dry pair. (Soren is supposed to follow this same routine when he has an accident, except he has to remove the wet underpants himself and dress himself in dry ones, plus help clean up any mess.)

After that, Baby successfully peed on the potty one more time before we pronounced him trained. Baby was now a Big Boy, Soren agreed. And here are my two Big Boys, pictured below:
By this time, Soren's little bladder was filling up, and the first time I suggested he try sitting on the potty, he peed as if on cue. We went through the motions of emptying the pot, etc., then had more fun together eating treats and drinking juice, with him wearing just underpants the whole time. He then took the initiative to pee on his own (which I was elated at), then we had the perfect learning opportunity of a poop coming. Soren was playing with his train set in the living room, when he stood up and I saw the funniest contorted look on his face. "Run fast," I urged, and he made it to the potty in time to pull down his underpants and eliminate. He has rarely pooped on the potty in the past, so this was also a big step forward.

We tried to lie down for a nap, but Soren was too wired to sleep. He pottied himself again soon after getting up, then a couple of more times before the day was done. He managed to keep the same pair of underpants DRY all day, which was impressive. Maybe it was the promised reward of a caboose for his new model train (which I'd been keeping in reserve)! Here's the battery-powered and immensely popular train without the caboose:
But it was Soren's Day 1 success that lulled me into making a big mistake on Day 2 -- we went on an outing. And not just around town, but an hour-long car ride away, carpooling with a friend. So where did he have his first accident? In a public place away from his potty. We couldn't very well do Positive Practice runs to the public restroom. I kick myself for being so confident of his abilities to not foresee this. Yes, we carried a potty with us in the trunk of the car, and we even stopped on the way down and set it on the side of the road because Soren said he had to pee, but unsurprisingly he was unable to relax in the cold wind. He didn't want to pee in the public restrooms once we'd arrived at our destination (although he had done that before, so I didn't think it would be a sticking point). Then he peed twice in his carseat on the ride home. Ug.

Day 3 we stayed at home and practiced, needless to say. So we're on our way after a smooth then bumpy start.

It's not soon enough for me. I am heartily sick of diapers, and the longer Soren has resisted pottying, the more mortified I have felt about all the solid waste we were generating. We dabbled in cloth diapers but the routines never stuck, so we've been using disposables all this time. Now, in addition to the money we'll save not buying diapers, we can cut our garbage pick-up service back to once every two weeks.

So from now on it's underwear (except at night for the time being, because he never wakes up dry and he's still in a crib he can't climb out of without help). Next time you see Soren, be sure to tell him how proud you are that he's wearing Big Boy Underwear!

Soren's sleep-over and my night out

Let's just call it inertia. The force that held Soren and I captive in our bedtime routine for nearly 2-1/2 years. It took a great deal of planning and resolve to break free of, but this force was successfully overcome last week.

What am I talking about?!

The mothers out there are nodding. They know it's hard to believe but TRUE. I hadn't LEFT Soren for a single night since he'd been born. Not until last Thursday.

Did you hear that right? Dr. Soren will check out your ears if you think they're not working correctly...



These cute pix are not just window dressing, they're a tribute to my parents (pictured) for agreeing to keep Soren at their house for a tad over 24 hours so I could escape unencumbered to Seattle. They did this not knowing if they would get ANY sleep that night. Because they love me!

Thankfully their home is filled with things fascinating to Soren, including this doctor's kit that I played with as a little girl. He loves to give check-ups.
OK, so back to my story. The seed for my escape was planted in the theatre, of all places. I don't go that often, but one of the plays I saw in the past year was an incredible one-woman show performed in Port Townsend called "The K of D: An Urban Legend." The actress, Renata Friedman, grew up in PT and has hit it pretty big in the theatre world. She took this show to the New York Fringe Festival, and right now it is showing at the Seattle Rep.

I knew I wanted to see it again.

I wanted to take my best friend, Sierra.

I considered taking my husband, but a Thursday night worked best for everyone else involved, and he had to work Friday.

And bad luck, I came down with a wicked head cold the day before all this was to transpire.

I wasn't breathing well enough to sleep well during my first guaranteed-uninterrupted night in 2-1/2 years, but oh, well. Sierra and I enjoyed dinner out and the play was smashing (we had seats in the second row). We stayed up past midnight just talking and blissfully slept in till 9:30 a.m. A short time later my mom left a message on my cell phone that started, "You have left us a model child..." and I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

I didn't suffer separation anxiety -- and, it turns out, neither did Soren. But I was worried for my parents' peace of mind. How cheering to hear he only called out my name upon waking from the nap I put him down for, and after that he didn't ask for me again. He didn't ask about nursing, either (yes, we're not weaned, something I'm usually grateful for...), but happily drank the warm milk I suggested offering. In fact, he didn't cry or fuss once the entire 27 hours!! And then he slept 11 hours straight that night, a near record.

When we were reunited, he had a meltdown a mere two hours later. So it goes.

It was a busy weekend, because after all the planning and packing for the sleep-over Thursday night, Soren and I scurried home Saturday night to plan and prepare for a baby shower I hosted Sunday afternoon. Actually, Soren and Jeff were ordered to vacate the house so I could clean and party-prep. Then 12 of us gathered at The Roost to bestow blessings upon my dear friend Audrey, whose second child is due in just a few days.

Here we are, hands on her big belly, wishing the child safe passage to this world.

I wish for Audrey a night away LESS THAN 2-1/2 years from now!